Feeding the Soul: Laurie Woolever’s Journey Through Food, Addiction, and Life with Anthony Bourdain
Laurie Woolever is more than just a food writer; she is a master of navigating indulgence and the complexities of human experience. My first encounter with her unfolded in the shadowy elegance of an omakase restaurant in downtown Tokyo during the summer of 2017. She was deep into researching a travel book with none other than the legendary Anthony Bourdain, while I was filming a digital offshoot of his acclaimed series, Parts Unknown. Our mutual New York friends had introduced us, and I quickly recognized the weight of her reputation. Private, tough, and armed with a wickedly dry sense of humor, Woolever was an intimidating figure.
A Candid Conversation Over Wagyu Beef
As she expertly maneuvered through a lavish seven-course tasting menu, Woolever dropped a bombshell: she had recently stopped drinking due to spiraling excess. Meanwhile, I cradled my cold beer, contemplating the bravery required to relinquish such an ingrained part of life, especially while working as Bourdain’s long-term assistant in the buzzing New York culinary scene. What I would later uncover through her memoir, Care and Feeding, was the deeper truth behind that revelation—while she was sober, she sought pleasure in other ways, including a controversial encounter with a Japanese male sex worker shortly after our dinner.
“I was having a hard time on that trip because I didn’t understand the point of Tokyo without drinking,” Woolever later reflected in a video call from her home in Queens. “Acting out sexually was a way to escape that.” What followed was a powerful exploration of self-worth that’s all too common in the landscape of addiction: feeling both worthless and the center of the universe.
An Intimate Memoir of Hedonism and Heartbreak
Care and Feeding is a brilliantly candid account of hedonism, heartbreak, and a career cultivated over two decades in the world of gastronomy. Within its pages, Woolever chronicles her experiences working alongside some of the most notorious figures in the American food scene, including Mario Batali and, of course, Anthony Bourdain. “Very few people are curious about the unknown women who prop up the work of important men,” she writes, bravely illuminating her chaotic journey through the shadows of culinary titans.
In showcasing her own tumultuous experiences, Woolever makes a crucial point: while celebrity chefs bask in the spotlight, their success often relies heavily on the unsung efforts of women like her. “Without the Tonys or Marios of the world, there would have been no book, or TV show or magazine work for me,” she asserts.
Growing Up in Upstate New York and Embracing Chaos
Hailing from the small village of Chittenango in upstate New York, Woolever’s formative years were a patchwork of hard work and wild nights. After graduating from Cornell, she moved to New York City in 1996, drawn into a world of late-night revelries and consequence-free pleasure. She recounts evenings spent discovering the limits of her alcohol consumption while juggling a life as a budding food writer.
Her culinary journey took a pivotal turn when she became the assistant to Mario Batali at Babbo, a high-end Italian restaurant that was a hotbed for the culinary elite. “It was wild and uninhibited,” she reflects on that time, pointing out how Batali’s perspective on dining stripped away the pretenses that often cloud fine dining. Yet, this newfound culinary paradise came with challenges. Expecting to fit in, Woolever dove deep into the restaurant culture, consuming everything—food, drink, and experiences alike—at an alarming rate.
Behind the Shadows of Culinary Titans
Woolever’s narrative doesn’t shy away from addressing the darker elements intertwined with her career. She recounts the harassment she experienced under Batali’s watch, alongside other allegations of misconduct that would later surface during the #MeToo movement. “That’s a complicated question,” she admits when reflecting on her feelings of complicity. With such power dynamics in play, the chances of speaking out often came with great personal risk.
Eventually, motivated by her aspiration to carve her own path, Woolever transitioned from Batali’s assistant to a role that would eventually bring her full circle to Bourdain. Her initial impression of him surprised her; he was not the brash personality one would expect from his Kitchen Confidential persona. Instead, he was polite and respectful, treating her as an equal. “There were none of the assistant horror stories you hear about famous people,” she shares, illustrating the unique bond they developed over the years.
Through their collaboration, Woolever became an essential piece of Bourdain’s complex mosaic—taking on roles ranging from editor to co-author of Appetites. Their time together was punctuated by a playful camaraderie and culinary adventures, producing cherished memories that went beyond the work they produced.
A Perspective on Loss and Recovery
Tragedy struck in June 2018 when Woolever learned of Bourdain’s death, a loss that sent shockwaves through her world. “I felt a kind of shock that I don’t know I’d ever experienced before,” she recalls. In her memoir, she dives deep into her grief and the shared experiences that complicated Bourdain’s last months, grappling with the intricacies of addiction and emotional pain.
Today, armed with over six years of sobriety, Woolever continues to advocate for an understanding of addiction that transcends traditional narratives. She recognizes the privilege in her ability to step back from the brink before hitting rock bottom, encouraging others to acknowledge that healing can begin before catastrophe strikes.
Cooking as a Love Language
In the present day, Woolever channels her experiences into nurturing her 16-year-old son through food—a passion that proves both fulfilling and therapeutic. “Cooking is non-negotiable for me,” she insists. This connection she fosters through the act of preparing meals offers a beautiful counterpoint to her tumultuous past.
As our conversation comes to a close, I’m struck not just by her resilience but her renewed sense of purpose. When asked if she feels liberated 50 years into her life, Woolever smiles. “Yes,” she replies, “It feels like closing a chapter… It took me 25 years to become an adult.”
Care and Feeding: A Memoir by Laurie Woolever is a captivating exploration of life, addiction, and the nuanced role of women in the culinary world. Published by HarperCollins, the book is available for purchase at guardianbookshop.com and promises to entertain, enlighten, and inspire.
