Giancarlo Esposito as Fitz and Michelle Dockery as Clara in ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children.’ Photo: Tubi.
‘Please Don’t Feed the Children’ receives 2 out of 10 stars.
On June 27th, the film ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children’ premiered on Tubi, marking the feature directorial debut of Destry Allyn Spielberg. The film features a cast that includes talent such as Michelle Dockery, Zoe Colletti, Regan Aliyah, Dean Scott Vazquez, Andrew Liner, and Giancarlo Esposito.
Initial Impressions
(L to R) Vicky (Regan Aliyah), Ben (Andrew Liner), Jeffy (Dean Scott Vazquez), Mary (Zoe Colletti), and Crystal (Emma Meisel) study a chess game in ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children.’ Photo: Tubi.
First things first: the director of this film, Destry Allyn Spielberg, is the daughter of the legendary Steven Spielberg. While some might argue her lineage offers unfair advantages, the question remains: does she possess the talent to carve her own path in the world of cinema? Unfortunately, her debut showcases a reliance on stale tropes and generic plotlines—a disappointing start for a director with such monumental lineage.
Plot Overview and Direction
Director Destry Allyn Spielberg on the set of ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children.’ Photo: Tubi.
“Harboring minors is a punishable offense.” Thus begins ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children’, thrusting us into a world ravaged by a lethal virus transforming adults into flesh-eating zombies—horrifically, a virus carried by children. This unsettling premise establishes a chilling backdrop, but the film fails to explore the ethical dilemmas of such a nightmare.
The story follows Mary (Zoe Colletti), a young girl grasping at freedom amid chaos, spiriting away from soldiers with the help of the annoying yet well-meaning Jeffy (Dean Scott Vazquez). Their escape into the lair of a seemingly benevolent, yet dangerously duplicitous, woman named Clara (Michelle Dockery) sets the stage for a tense narrative. Sadly, the progression devolves into a repetitive cycle of capture and escape, lacking the dramatic weight that could elevate the material.
Despite a few visually compelling moments, Spielberg’s direction suffers from classic debut pitfalls—excessive camera movements intended to impress rather than serve the story. While the film commits to gore and violence, it lacks the emotional resonance necessary for a truly engaging horror experience, leaving audiences cold despite the expected thrills.
Character Depth and Performances
Michelle Dockery as Clara in ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children.’ Photo: Tubi.
In terms of performance, the younger cast largely falls flat. Zoe Colletti, while positioned as the protagonist, struggles to imbue her character with the necessary gravitas. Meanwhile, Giancarlo Esposito makes a hastily-arranged cameo, not fully utilizing his talents, and Michelle Dockery’s portrayal of Clara fluctuates between overt cruelty and half-hearted camp—a confusing representation that fails to solidify either approach.
Final Thoughts
Destry Allyn Spielberg directing ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children.’ Photo: Tubi.
Every filmmaker faces challenges early in their career, but for Destry Allyn Spielberg, her debut poses an uphill battle. She will likely grapple with the shadow of her father’s legacy while navigating professional criticism for this lackluster offering. As she seeks to carve out her identity in the film industry, the need for sharper material is evident.
In sum, ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children’ is a derivative, lackluster entry into the horror genre—one that fails to innovate or inspire. With a runtime of just 94 minutes, it doesn’t overstay its welcome, but it certainly doesn’t make a lasting impression either.
What is the Plot of ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children’?
Set in a dystopian future, society grapples with a deadly virus that targets adult populations, while children inadvertently become agents of chaos. A group of orphans embarks on a dangerous journey, only to be captured by a woman harbing a dark secret.
Who Stars in ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children’?
- Michelle Dockery as Clara
- Zoe Colletti as Mary
- Regan Aliyah as Vicky
- Dean Scott Vazquez as Jeffy
- Andrew Liner as Ben
- Josh Melnick as Seth
- Emma Meisel as Crystal
- Vernon Davis as Hank
- Giancarlo Esposito as Fitz
(L to R) Vicky (Regan Aliyah) watches as Ben receives treatment from Clara (Michelle Dockery) in ‘Please Don’t Feed the Children.’ Photo: Tubi.
