When Generosity Meets Expectation: A Family Drama Over Money
By Quentin Fottrell
In the world of finances and etiquette, it seems we’re often caught in a delicate balancing act of generosity and obligation. Recently, a reader found herself navigating this very conflict, one that many of us might face in our own homes.
A Generous Invitation Gone Awry
Dear Quentin,
In my household, we’ve always believed in demonstrating gratitude as guests. It’s simple: whether it’s washing dishes, mowing the lawn, or babysitting, you show appreciation for the hospitality. Recently, however, we faced an unexpected twist. My daughter’s boyfriend, who often enjoys meals at our table, decided to offer a helping hand by powerwashing a section of our house.
Great in his day job, he also moonlights as a powerwasher. After completing his work on the north side of our home, he proceeded to feast on a major portion of the salmon I prepared—worth around $50. To my shock, after dinner, he demanded payment for the powerwashing.
The cost? About what I would typically pay for a full house washing—not just one wall.
I was taken aback but ultimately paid him. While I would have been happy to compensate him fairly, I felt frustrated that he insisted on the full amount. If roles were reversed and I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t dream of charging him—especially after indulging in such a lavish dinner.
Navigating the Gray Area of Expectations
What do you think?
The Mother
The Complexities of Guest Etiquette
Dear Mother,
If your daughter’s boyfriend is audacious enough to charge for his services, he should be mature enough to engage in an adult discussion regarding rates beforehand. Would he dare to impose such a fee on his own mother for washing one wall? The likelihood is low, yet it’s essential that boundaries and expectations are clearly drawn before the work is done.
It’s disheartening that he would charge you without pre-agreed terms, especially when you extended hospitality and generosity by providing a meal. If he truly intended it as a favor, he should have respectfully completed the task without bringing money into the conversation.
The Fine Line of Generosity vs. Business
While it’s clear there’s a gray area at play, the scales unmistakably tip in your favor. If he intended to charge you, then a discussion about the price was necessary prior to any work taking place. It’s perfectly fair to say, “That’s more than I usually pay for a full house wash. Let’s discuss this further.”
Consider this: Prices can vary significantly based on geography and job specifics. For example, a full house pressure wash might run between $100 and $750. In Denver, you’d likely spend around $250, whereas it might hit about $420 in more expensive areas like Portland, Maine (Angie’s List).
Understanding Pricing: Powerwashing vs. Pressure Washing
When it comes to powerwashing and pressure washing, understanding the distinctions can save you from unnecessary costs. Pressure washing, typically less expensive, usually runs between $100 and $750. In contrast, powerwashing—which uses heated water and is better suited for stubborn grime—averages between $250 and $400.
Other factors influence these prices too, including seasonal demand. Optimization is key, as scheduling your home wash between March and November can save both time and money. It’s vital to consider market fluctuations and maintain awareness of local rates.
The Bigger Picture: Generosity and Modern Etiquette
Your daughter’s boyfriend may see himself as a hard-working and entrepreneurial figure—attributes that could make him an appealing future son-in-law. However, in doing so, he risks alienating himself among future in-laws by not adhering to the straightforward etiquette surrounding hospitality.
Having insights from both sides of the age spectrum, I can empathize with you. Charging for household tasks should ideally be accompanied by transparency and ample discussion. His decision to demand payment post-meal—especially after indulging in your expensive salmon—exudes opportunism rather than appreciation.
Next time? Perhaps gently suggest fish sticks instead.
If you have questions of your own about money matters and ethical dilemmas, feel free to email The Moneyist at [email protected]. Remember, clarity is essential in financial discussions, especially in family dynamics.
Related Articles:
- Split the Bill or Not? Navigating Modern Dining Etiquette
- How to Handle Financial Conversations with Family
More from Quentin Fottrell:
- “Should I Speak Up About the Uneven Check?”
- “Balancing the Books on a Trust Fund: A Financial Tightrope”
This content was created by MarketWatch, independent of Dow Jones Newswires and The Wall Street Journal.
