As a 30-year-old American woman fresh from earning my second graduate degree, I’ve made **a bold decision**. Instead of pursuing a high-paying job or moving to a bustling city, I chose to live with my **Italian mother-in-law** in the quaint town of **Pietravairano**. This change of scenery, initiated just a month ago, is not just about saving money; it’s about taking a breather from the relentless hustle and reconnecting with family. My **student visa** lasts until the end of fall, and during this time, I am actively **job hunting** for a remote position with an NGO.
Previously, my partner and I spent two years in **Belgium**, exploring Europe. However, homesickness set in for both of us, compounded by a longing for **sunny days**. Now that we’re back in Italy, we are not just job hunting; we are planning our future and weaving in family ties. It warms my heart to see my partner reconnecting with his roots and family here.
Courtesy of Catherine Work
Slowing Down: **A New Lifestyle Awaits**
Life on a **3,000-person farm** is a far cry from my previous lifestyle. My mother-in-law has chickens, cats, and a rhythm that contrasts sharply with the fast-paced existence I once knew. I’m currently learning **Italian**, navigating our conversations through garden vegetables and lots of hand gestures. We bond over **food**, **flowers**, and family, and I anticipate that the next six months will not only bring a new job but also a greater appreciation for a different rhythm of life.
Raised in a culture where **independence** was emphasized, where moving out at 18 was the norm, I initially viewed returning to live with family as a sign of weakness. However, my perspective has shifted over the years. I now recognize the **value of community** and the warmth that comes from sharing small, everyday moments with loved ones. Here, I’m learning that it’s perfectly acceptable to lean on family and enjoy the benefits of a nurturing environment.
I’m happily trading my former independence for **home-cooked meals**, intimate neighborhood connections, and tranquil **dirt road walks** instead of hours spent in front of screens.
**Cultivating Family Ties and Skills**
This unique living arrangement provides the freedom to pursue a job that resonates with my passions rather than just following the money trail. I’ve resolved to spend my days absorbing my mother-in-law’s wisdom, especially when it comes to **gardening** and cooking. For instance, **zucchini season** is in full swing, and we’re drying them in the sun. In gratitude, I plan to bake her my special zucchini bread!
Courtesy of Catherine Work
In the coming month, we’ll be harvesting **potatoes**, which she masterfully prepares with **olive oil** and **rosemary**. We have plans to create **sun-dried tomatoes** and explore other preserved foods. In fall, we’ll harvest **grapes** to make our own wine. As a recently retired teacher, she’s patiently helping me with my Italian, and we can now engage in simple conversations.
**A Transformative Experience**
This living arrangement is not merely a **stopgap**; it’s reshaping my views on adulthood and success. Sharing a home with someone from a different generation has challenged my long-held beliefs: that independence equates to distance and that success must be loud and rapid.
Experiencing vulnerability as a guest in another person’s world is layered with resilience. It teaches me to slow down, listen, and allow life to unfold at its own pace. Living with my mother-in-law provides me a glimpse into another culture, where dinner is at **8 p.m.**, chores are completed in a specific manner, and the rhythms of life were established long before I entered the picture.
This isn’t how I envisioned postgrad life, but waking up surrounded by family and savoring hearty **pasta** meals feels like I’ve hit the **jackpot**. Even if I secure a job soon, I may not be ready to leave this idyllic lifestyle. I’m learning to embrace life like the tomatoes we’re drying in the sun: **slowly, deliberately, and vibrantly**.
